1. Introduction
Marital Food For Thought - Jack’s Marriage Project - https://amzn.to/4cHXJC2
Do you who wish to marry or get an insight on marital realities? Do you desire to manage the expectations of being married? Are you a young adult who is on the verge of starting your marital journey? Are you newly married? Do you wish to enhance your marriage? Do you wish to give a valuable gift to newly weds or prospectives? If your desire lies between one or more of the aforementioned, you have done well by picking up this book. Within these pages are some of the best practices you can engage for a blissful marriage, some pitfalls to avoid, and ideas that can help you build a home that embraces growth, love and tolerance, with lasting marital experience. It also helps you give thought to practical issues, via rhetorical questions.
Take each chapter at a time. Read and digest prayerfully. Then, go ahead with practicing what you have learned. In some of the chapters, your thoughts shall be stimulated. You’re expected to do some thinking, and come up with your conclusions.
To start with, I'll be taking you through a series of questions that will help you kickstart your marital thoughts. Kindly go through the questions and provide honest answers. Let's see!
- What is your gender?
- Are you married/ divorced/ widowed/ unmarried?
- Are you religious?
- Are you spiritual?
For those who are married/divorced/widowed:
- At what age did you marry?
- Describe personalities of you and your spouse
- Has your marriage been a smooth sail?
- How did you meet your spouse?
- How did/ have you managed your strengths and weaknesses?
- How do you / did you manage the right or wrong things in your marriage?
- How have you managed your spouses strengths and weaknesses?
- How long have you been married? How many times have you married?
- Do you have kids? How many of them?
- Is there anything wrong with marrying outside your persona?
- Was your wedding lavish or modest?
- What are your suggested best practices that have sustained your marriage?
- What are the great qualities of your spouse?
- What are the impacts of marriage on you?
- What are the shortcomings of your spouse?
- What are your marital challenges? What are your marital strengths and weaknesses?
- What are your childhood experiences?
- Did you grow up in a polygamous home?
- Did you have any abusive experiences?
- Are there experiences of being overly loved and pampered by parents or guardians?
- Experiences of strictness and discipline?
- What are your marital successes?
- What are/ were the dynamics of your marriage?
- What challenges did you face; and how did you overcome them?
- What factors contributed to your marital success or failure?
- What things went/ are going well in your marriage?
- What will you do differently?
- What wise words do you have for couples?
- What wrong things are going on / went wrong in your marriage?
- What’s the age difference between you and your spouse?
- What’s your plan B? After: death; illness; loss of income; divorce; infertility; etc.?
- Why did you marry / not marry?
- Will you marry outside your persona? Culture? Religion? Economic status? Academic status? Etc.?
Marital Food For Thought - Jack’s Marriage Project - https://amzn.to/4cHXJC2
The above should help evaluate your thoughts and actions, for the purpose of reflection; and to share best practices and pitfalls, with the intention of adding value to the institution of marriage, as well as to you, your spouse and society.
2. Target Audience
The target audience for this content, are:
- Those who wish to marry
- Those who wish to get insights into marital journeys.
- Those who wish to manage expectations of marital life.
- Young adults on the verge of the marital journey.
- Newly married couples
- Those with marital difficulties
- Those who wish to add value to their marriages
- Those who wish to give this book as a gift
- Those who are in the industry
- Those who are married, divorced, widowed, separated, unmarried
- Those who wish to market this book
- Etc.
3. The Inspiration
One of the driving forces of this book was a conversation between my mentee and I, when he mentioned that he had no clue on how to go about his marital decision. He is an academic mind and very disciplined. He is also result oriented and values mentoring. He offers his service at great discounts and gets mentored for free. During the course of our discussions, we talked about marriage and life after university. He, then, mentioned that it had been a worry for him. He was unsure of where to start.
As a Content Creator and an older citizen, I decided it was the right opportunity to pen my thoughts and experience. This gave birth to this content.
Just to add, this content is more of a personal opinion, so, feel free to make notes on key areas of interest and articulate your own thoughts. Also, endeavour to make broader research as necessary.
It’s hoped that you’ll find some value, as well as share such with family, friends and associates. Another point to note, is that I am no expert in the industry. I am an older citizen, sharing from my life experience.
The objective is to help people make the best of their marital journey and to stimulate their thought process while causing them to reflect and add value to the married, while those who are not married will be guided.
A disclaimer: we're not marriage counselors. Every decision and experience shared here is left to the discretion of the readers.
4. Your BIG Why
What are your intentions for marriage? Is it just to satisfy your sexual cravings? For companionship? To have children? To follow the crowd? In preparation for old age? For spiritual reasons? For financial, moral and other reasons? Is it for stability or to become responsible? Some of the above? All of the above? None of the above?
5. Managing Extra Marital Affairs
Marital Food For Thought - Jack’s Marriage Project - https://amzn.to/4cHXJC2
Here are some thoughts.
Are you involved in extra-marital affairs? Is your spouse involved in such? Do you do it secretly or openly? Could it have repercussions? Could this be sooner or later? Could you address the cause of such affairs? Is your spouse no longer attractive? Is your spouse unpleasant to live with? Are you unhappy at home? Have you got a weakness for the opposite sex? Does your dressing attract the opposite sex? Do you require medication, supplements or therapy? Do you require support? Is there a lot of temptation? Are you not sexually compatible with your spouse? Is your libido extremely high? Are you doing it for material gains? Do such actions lead to good or bad ends? Could you research a solution to your problem? Could you reflect? Could you confide in trusted others? Could you search-for, and find a solution? Or will you continue, until events unfold?
Thank you very much for your time.
This is Jack Lookman signing off. Ire o (I wish you blessings)
Ire kabiti (I wish you loads of blessings).
Buy - Marital Food For Thought - Jack’s Marriage Project -
Thank you for your contributions: John Tosin Adekunle and Rita Nnamani
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