101. Side chicks / concubines
Buy - Marital Food For Thought - Jack’s Marriage Project - https://amzn.to/3X0fg2n
The side chick is usually a girlfriend or sex mate of the married man. They both carry out sexual activities secretly.
- To satisfy sexual demands
- An escape route from very challenging wives
- Sexual promiscuity
- A status symbol amongst male peers. In my opinion, this fragments societal values. You may argue that the females are much more than males, in the society and that single girls deserve a share of the pie but, may be a case for polygyny may be revisited. As a solution to such problems, it becomes legal and moral, although it comes with its own challenges as well.
102. Boyfriend And Girlfriend
The idea of boyfriend and girlfriend does not resonate with me. In my opinion, this association begins at a young age. It could breed sexual relations. There could be a lot of hurt. The concerned parties may be immature, and in the event the relationship fails, there could be great backlash. The dignity of the parties may be diminished and the sacredness of each human body may be belittled. In my opinion relationships should start at adulthood, with its intention being for marriage. There shouldn’t be sexual relations until after marriage. That way, the dignity of concerned parties will be much enhanced.
103. Are religious people immune from marital failure?
Buy Complete United Kingdom Wedding Planner Gift - https://amzn.to/4eg5bWe
In my opinion and experience, I’d say no. Religious and spiritual people are also humans and humans are perfectly created to be imperfect. Some religious clerics have failed, or volatile marriages. Some have rebellious children. Some have children with different or no religions. That is part of life experience and the reality presented. Marital success is not a respecter of religious status, academic ability, social status, etc., neither is it a respecter of age. Some of the above succeed and fail at marriage. That is part of the reality.
104. Cultural And Religious Perspectives And Considerations
Cultural and religious practices encourage marital unions, especially for grown adults. It is probably one of the ways of stabilising society. However, some individuals may choose to be celibate. That choice is equally permissible. In my opinion, marital unions prevent or reduce sexual promiscuity and help unite society. It may have its challenges, like everything else but the pros presumably outweigh the cons.
105. Marriage seminars
Some organisations arrange marriage seminars. These could be religious organisations or professional marriage counselors. The seminars could be online or offline (physical meetings). They get experts and married people to speak experiences and tips are shared, as well as best practice, advice and support. Information and opportunities for private consultation are also given. Most of these seminars are paid and most times, offer great value.
106. Online Dating Platforms
There are online dating platforms on the internet. Some are reliable; others may be dubious. There are subscriptions to pay and you may indicate qualities of your potential spouse.
107. Is There A Right Age To Get Married?
I guess that it depends on several factors and circumstances.
- Are you financially ready?
- Are you emotionally ready?
- Are you spiritually ready?
- Are you matured enough?
- Are you ready to bear the responsibilities?
- Is it something you desire for the right reasons?
- Is your reason for marriage sustainable?
- Do you have a regular income? etc
- Some school of thought recommend early marriage after academic studies and getting a regular income
- Most people recommend early marriage and learning on the journey. Early or late marriage may not guarantee anything but each of the options have pros and cons.
- It is suggested that you make a judgement call and do what you think is best for you.
108. Wives And Mothers In-Law
- This has been a bone of contention in some marriages. Each of them wishes to flex muscles. The mother in-law is more of the past, and a bit of the future while the wife is meant to take the baton to the future. However, there are sometimes conflicts. The husband and children mainly bear the brunt. It is sometimes difficult to be just, without causing hurt and pain.
- Wisdom, patience and prayers can play great roles in surfing through this challenge.
- Some men avoid this difficulty by getting their mother to choose the bride while some side with one or the other. I must confess, that it is not an easy nut to crack.
109. If My Marriage Is No Longer Working …
You may have made your choice; beauty, brains, etc. You enjoyed the first and second year, but then came cracks in the third year of marriage. There are thoughts of infidelity and mistrust. There are feelings of insecurity. Your expectations are being drowned and you start planning an exit. There is too much to lose; invested time and passion. There are also children as beautiful as each of you. There’s property as well as family and friends too.
How do you overcome the challenge? One that stares you in the eyes. Do you give up and move out? Do you seek wise and honest counsel? Do you seek peacemakers? Do you leverage religious clerics and marriage counsellors? Do you give yourselves time and space? Do you take a little break? Do you reflect and strategise? Do you communicate and advocate? Do you honestly seek the problems and make efforts at mending? Do you leverage spirituality? Do you make sacrifices for one another? Do you revisit the drawing board? Do you separate temporarily? Or do you give up and call it a day?
Is there really a problem under the sun without a solution? Is it only about you or all stakeholders? Or about the short or long term? Is the answer somewhere near, blowing and dangling in the wind? Or are you destined to have a failed marriage?
110. If I Made The Wrong Marital Choice
As humans, despite our best endeavours, we are prone to make wrong choices sometimes. When such happens, you may consider reflecting, seeking wise counsel, and taking a decision. The decision should be in the interest of concerned parties, in particular the children, who are vulnerable. You can revisit your lifestyle, and improve on your yourself. You can also revisit your approach and try something different. You can communicate your frustrations and pains with wisdom. You can make amends by changing your ways. If after all efforts to make the marriage work, it ends in futility. You may consider separation or divorce. This can be initially painful but in the long run, be the best possible outcome
Thank you very much for your time.
This is Jack Lookman signing off. Ire o (I wish you blessings)
Ire kabiti (I wish you loads of blessings).
Buy - Marital Food For Thought - Jack’s Marriage Project - https://amzn.to/3X0fg2n
Thank you for your contributions: John Tosin Adekunle and Rita Nnamani
Facebook group: Menteero
Youtube channel: Jack Lookman
Facebook Community: Jack Lookman
- Courses by Jack Lookman Limited
- Becoming Organised
- Mindset
- Jack’s Mentoring 101 (18+)
- Jack Lookman Limited Websites
- Jack Lookman On Social media
- Jack Lookman Paperbacks
Books by Jack Lookman Limited
Jack Lookman Limited Websites
Jack Lookman’s Social Media
Jack’s Mentoring 101 - 18+ only
Business Collaboration With Jack Lookman - 18+ only
https://www.jacksempowerment.com
https://www.jacklookmanlimited.com
We do Affiliate Marketing and make commissions for every sale, at no additional cost to you.
The change that we aim is generational.
Kindly share this content if it’s beneficial.
At Jack Lookman Limited: Our mission is to Empower and Inspire Generations by leveraging the Internet.
No comments:
Post a Comment