41. Faith compatibility
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- Same faith?
- Compatible faith?
- Same denomination?
- Same belief?
- Different faiths?
- Children?
- Co-existence?
- Tolerance?
42. Religious, Traditional and Cultural Ways of Finding A Spouse
There are probably religious and cultural traditions for finding a spouse. These can be researched on YouTube, google, etc. This can also be a potential subject area for content creation.
43. Family planning
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- Intended number of children
- Plan B for unintended children, e.g., twins, triplets
- Religious/cultural influences
- Permanent infertility after last intended child
- Permanent versus temporary infertility
- Mutual agreement between spouses
- Trust
- Family planning clinics
44. Have children early?
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- Have you explored the pros and cons?
- Can you afford them now?
- Can you plan for them, for the long and short term?
- Can you create buffers, in case of loss of earning?
- Can you research best practice?
- Can you manage the financial cost of academia at the same time?
- Will you have the same amount of energy and finance in old and young age?
- Will you pray for guidance and wisdom?
- Will you copy others blindly?
- Will you have them while young and strong?
- Will you await middle age, with wisdom and maturity? Or do you prefer not to have children at all?
- Will you rather have them when you’re grey and old?
- Will you rather pass the responsibility to others? Or will you have them while you can and tread the tracks of life with hope, faith and diligence?
45. Children
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- How many children do you plan to have?
- What if there are multiple births?
- Do you prioritise boys over girls?
- What if the child is disabled or ill?
- What if the child is gifted?
- What jf they have unpleasant or questionable character?
- What if they become over reliant on you?
- What if there is rivalry between siblings?
- If they are not domesticated?
- If they are troublemakers?
- If they cause you unending grief?
- If they choose different spiritual journeys?
- If they bring unending joy?
- If they keep bad company?
- If they choose questionable career paths?
- If they are spendthrifts?
46. Bringing up children
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Have you given this some thought or will you go with the flow? Have you thought of the environment? The type of companions that surrounds them? The content they consume? Teaching them morals? Teaching them life lessons? Not spoiling them? Teaching them money skills? Teaching them good manners? Helping them with their academics? Teaching them independence? Teaching them spirituality? Involving them in domestic chores? Creating a loving atmosphere? Creating environments where they could thrive? Building foundations for better tomorrows? Teaching them life skills? Teaching them compassion and empathy? Teaching the great values? Complementing their academic education Encouraging them to confide in you? Teaching them team work etc.
47. Wedding Galore
It is imperative that you plan and prepare appropriately for your wedding. Meanwhile, you could start your preparation by asking yourself:
- What kind of wedding do you want to have? A modest or lavish wedding?
- Does any of them guarantee a blessed marriage?
- Will you borrow money to fund a lavish wedding?
- What are your reasons for the choice of wedding format?
- Will you consider having your wedding on a Monday morning?
- Do divorces happen before borrowed money is paid back?
- What are best practices?
- Is your wedding a flaunt of wealth?
- Are you in it to show off?
- Does a lavish wedding guarantee success?
- Will you borrow, to finance a lavish wedding?
- How many weddings will you do? Religious? Traditional? Court?
- Do the number of weddings guarantee a successful outcome?
48. Support Systems:
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As a parent, will you do it alone? Will you hide in your shell? You, your family, and no one else? What if you require support? If you or your spouse, fall sick, or if your spouse passes on, or if external factors disrupt your routine or if unplanned situations cause you to seek help, will you hide yourself in your island? Will you become an introvert? Or will you open up but become selective in your choice of associates? Can you create support systems for mutual support? Is it true that no man is an island? As we all need each other?
49. Work Life Balance:
- Do you spend your life working?
- Are you married to your job?
- Does this impact your domestic relationships?
- Do you spend quality time with family and friends?
- Do you have holidays?
- Do you have leisure activities?
- What if you lose that job?
- What if sickness overtakes you?
- What if the work environment is unfavourable?
- What if you require help from family and friends?
- Could you reap where you did not sow?
- Is there more to life than work?
- Could you give yourself a break from work? And have a rounded life? Or will you choose to be consumed by work and all but work alone?
Just remember that if you become sick or dead, the workplace will replace you sooner than later, and within weeks or months, you can easily be forgotten.
50. Mentors and Marriage:
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Could it be beneficial to have mentors?
Who are mentors?
- Those whom you look up to, and trust
- Those who could add value to your relationship and life
- Those who will share best practices to follow? And share pitfalls to avoid
- Those who will share invaluable life experiences? And share marital nuggets. Those who will signpost you in the right direction and will dare to be frank with you
- Those who will empathise with you and get you out of murky waters
- Those who will mediate and have your best interest at heart
Thank you very much for your time.
This is Jack Lookman signing off. Ire o (I wish you blessings)
Ire kabiti (I wish you loads of blessings).
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Thank you for your contributions: John Tosin Adekunle and Rita Nnamani
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