61. Entrepreneurship
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Jobs may be hard to come by. There are lots of competitions in the job market. Artificial intelligence could take even more jobs and add more salt to injury. You may have a job now but it can be threatened. Younger, stronger competitors may become a threat to your job. Your manager may be a threat to your source of income. It can lead to an exploration of entrepreneurship or maybe business.
Could this be a source of income or as a side or full hustle? Could you explore online opportunities or probably offline? Could you build your own empire and rely less on the workplace? Could you research your niche? Ensuring it’s profitable? Could you do your own thing? The things that you are passionate about? Could you have your eggs in many baskets incase some become infected? Could you sow and grow and reap multiple harvests or will you resign to fate and be at the mercy of the workplace? Does this stimulate your thoughts as you journey through life or is your mind closed and carefully tucked in the comfort zone?
62. Life skills for children
As your children grow, will you invest in teaching them life skills either directly or from other trusted sources? Will you teach them to cook and good mannerisms too? Will you teach them empathy and adding value to society? Will you teach them domestic duties or to wait for domestic staff? Will you teach them to be disciplined; to make the best of what they have? Will you teach them spirituality to overcome life’s challenges? Will you teach them to be useful assets to themselves, family and community? Will you teach them great values whose benefits will outlive them or do you not want to stress them because the comfort zone produces no stress?
63. Research and Development
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Do you partake in Research and Development? For yourself, children, etc.? Does such activity add value in either researching the school, your proposed residential area, your proposed job, your proposed career, your proposed business, your proposed spouse, your proposed in-laws, your proposed investments? Do a little pain of research save loads of future headache and can it help multiply rewards?
64. Preparation for Old Age and Grey Years
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Will you consciously prepare for this? Financially? Morally? Spiritually? Intellectually? Socially? In terms of good health and wellbeing? etc.? Will you invest in the above? Will you sow in your youth in order to harvest and enjoy in your old age or will you squander it and be a liability and nuisance as you get old?
65. Age Differences Between Spouses
- Is there any recommended age difference between spouses?
- Must the husband be older than the wife?
- Can an old man marry a young woman?
- Can an old woman, marry a young man?
- In my opinion, there’s no perfect answer to the above. Different permutations of the above work and fail. I guess that the reason for marriage needs to be deep rooted. For instance, can it withstand the test of time?
66. Mutual Respect?
Is there mutual respect between family members? Have you created an atmosphere for this? Is your home volatile or calm? Do family members feel superior or inferior or do you accept each other as humans who have different roles to play? Choice of job, career, business—do you give adequate thought to these? What will be your considerations? All about money, and no time for family or friends? Slaving away for employers without much to show? Having a decent job to meet your lifestyle needs? A job with good pension and holidays? A job that is flexible and family friendly? A job that is faith-friendly complimenting your job with a side hustle? Working part time and doing business part time? Working as a freelancer? Both spouses working? Only one spouse working? Having a family business or do you do a combination of the above or something different? What’s your marriage’s ‘why’? If you’ve decided to marry, have you given due consideration to your reason(s)? Why have you decided to marry? Is it because others are marrying? Is it to have biological children? Is it to satisfy your sexual appetite in a moral way? Is it to get a life companion? Is it for purposes of procreation and recreation? Is it for spiritual reasons? Is it to connect with your soul companion? Is it a combination of the above or is it for other, or no reasons? Your reason is very important and may be related to the duration of the marital union.
67. Compromise
Marriage, just like life and politics, is full of compromise. Two people of different backgrounds, different cultures, different faith, different mindsets, etc., may come under one roof, in spite of best endeavours, there is great room for conflict. Not once, but multiple times and maybe, for a life time. There is also great possibility of conflict with the children in as much as conflict is real. It may not be a reason to avoid marriage all together. Instead, compromise may be introduced and conflicts avoided or effectively managed.
68. Pitfalls to Avoid
- Bad friends
- Negative external influence
- Undue attraction to the opposite sex
- Negativity
- Cursing
- Laziness
- Abuse
- Poor health
- Over-eating
- Income loss
- Lavish spending
- Breach of trust
- Disrespect
- Being unsupportive
- Poor communication
69. Best Practice
One could leverage best practice from friends and family, through research by reading books like biographies, autobiographies, memoirs. Best practice could also be gotten from marriage counsellor. It is necessary to make your marriage stronger.
70. Lessons
Aside from learning from your mistakes, you can also learn from other people's mistakes and their best practices. You need both the good practices to know what to do and the bad practices to know the mistakes you should avoid.
Thank you very much for your time.
This is Jack Lookman signing off. Ire o (I wish you blessings)
Ire kabiti (I wish you loads of blessings).
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