131. Is marital life a bed of roses?
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In my opinion, it isn’t. Marriage comes with pros and cons, so does becoming unmarried. If you get married you need to work at it. You need to pray for grace. You need to carry out due diligence, and then, hope for the best. Sometimes, life may throw different challenges. Some which may shake the roots of your conviction. You need to revisit your why. Why did you get married? If the why, is strong, it may get you across obstacles but if your ‘why’ is weak the marriage can crumble at the slightest wind of doubt.
132. Does marriage require work and commitment?
The simple answer is yes. Marriage is not a bed of roses. Like they say, nothing good comes easy. You need to work on your marriage. You’ll face difficulties and challenges. You’ll go through pain and gain. You may be tempted to quit and so on. You may consider researching the stories of successful marriages you know. That way, you can effectively manage expectations.
133. Expectation management in marriage
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Marriage is not a bed of roses. It has its ups and downs. Even academics and religious clerics could fail at marriage. The same goes for celebrities. Marriage takes effort and perseverance. It takes a lot of giving and taking. It takes commitment and perseverance. It takes giving and receiving forgiveness. It takes tolerance. It takes mutual respect. It takes mutual understanding. It takes supporting each other. It takes a lot of intentionality, the list goes on.
134. Monetising The Marriage Industry
After all the big grammar, what are the monetisation options? What are the business or entrepreneurial opportunities?
You can create relevant content. These can be in different formats, different platforms, different languages.
You can market relevant products and services.
You can carry out counselling.
You can educate potential spouses.
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You can create platforms for potential spouses to meet. These can be online or offline. You can monetise the process.
You can share experiences - both good and bad.
You can create a dating website or market existing dating websites. If this is in resonance with your beliefs, you can signpost spinsters and bachelors accordingly and do the same for widows and widowers, as well as divorcees.
135. Is there any perfect marriage?
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In my opinion, the only perfect marriage is the imperfect one. In other words, no marriage is perfect. You need to continually work on it and continue to pray for guidance and wherewithal for the best. In my opinion, most of these celebrities conceal their pain and cracks; some others manage them. But you see them on TV and social media, appearing to have perfect marriages. This is probably good marketing or sharing only what they wish you to know.
136. Can I learn from negative experiences?
Yes, you can.
In addition to learning from positive experiences, you could learn from negative ones. Once you’re aware of potential pitfalls, you could create strategies to avoid them.
137. My spouse doesn’t meet my expectations
Some spouses fake their personalities. They could go to great length in pretense either out of desperation or because of potential gains. This may work in some cases, but has greater potential to fail. It can lead to a lot of hurt down the path. Secrets may become exposed. There may be a lot of distrust. The children may be affected psychologically and otherwise. In my opinion, potential spouses should be truthful to each other. There are probably some secrets that will remain shrouded. It is better for your potential spouse to accept or reject you for whom you are than divorce you, or live in an unworkable relationship due to deceit. It is possible that someone somewhere will be attracted to you for who you really are. Also, bear in mind that if you get 60-70% of your expectations from your spouse, you should consider yourself lucky. It’s difficult or rare to get above this in any case, you may also not fully meet the expectation of your spouse. Marriage is a lot about compromise. Both parties need to work on it and make the best of the gift God has given to them in their spouse.
138. Some roles of spouses
- To add value to each other
- To be good parents to their children
- To be good role models
- To complement each other
- To love each other
- To provide for each other
- To support each other
- To be part of the wider family unit
- Etc
139. Roles of Parents
- To add immense value to the children
- To bring up good children
- To create an enabling environment for the children to thrive
- To empower the children
- To give the children adequate education.
- To guide the children
- To love the children
- To provide for the children
- To support the children
- To add value to society
- Etc
140. Should we spoil our kids?
Show them examples of some of the less privileged. Do this regularly. Do not pamper them all the time. Educate them on your reasons. Let them be appreciative of what they have. Life isn’t a bed of roses. Once in a while, teach them contentment.
You could however spoil them once in a while, after all, they could be deserving of this, especially after exemplary activities.
Thank you very much for your time.
This is Jack Lookman signing off. Ire o (I wish you blessings)
Ire kabiti (I wish you loads of blessings).
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Thank you for your contributions: John Tosin Adekunle and Rita Nnamani
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