181. Is there any pain in successful marriages?
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So for those who marry each other for fifty years, sixty years, seventy years, was it a perfect marriage? Did they go through difficulties or challenges? Did they go through happy days and sad days? Was it always a smooth sail? Or was it a straight line graph or a perfect union? Was there any pain at all? Or was it always happy and happy ever after? What are your thoughts?
182. What are your thoughts on polygamy or polygyny?
Are you looking at it from a religious perspective? If so, from what religion's perspective? Or do you look at it from a secular perspective? What are your thoughts? Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Or is it something you can live with?
183. On premarital sex and extramarital sex:
Are there any consequences for premarital sex? If you're a man and you get your girlfriend pregnant, does that guarantee that you're going to marry the girlfriend? Could there be conflict somewhere along the line? Can it be that your family will not accept the union? When you have premarital sex, can it be just for the fun? Are there consequences? For the woman, is it supposed to be a way of making sure the guy marries you? Even if he marries you, does it guarantee that you'll have a child? I had a case of a friend whose wife got pregnant before the marriage to be sure of her fertility. But each time she got pregnant, she always had miscarriages till she was able to give birth. Is premarital sex beneficial? Is it good or bad? Does it cause pain? Is it something you need to give a good thought? Are there consequences? If you, as a woman, have premarital sex, is there a stigma against such thing? Does it guarantee that the man will marry you or that you will even have a child? Does it mean that people will look at you as a piece of dirt because they won't show you respect? And in terms of extramarital sex, some people have mistresses whom they spend money on and have sex. Does it augur well for the society? Does it add value to the society or does it reduce the value of the society? What are your thoughts?
184. Are there consequences for broken homes?
If you get married and your marriage fails for whatever reason, are there consequences?
Can this impact society negatively? Can this impact the spouse's consent? Can it impact the in-laws and family and friends?
Can it impact the children who are going to go through the trauma? Are there any consequences for broken homes?
Can this be prevented from the onset by ensuring you cross the T's and dot the I's to make sure you are compatible, to make sure you are on the same page? Is it important? Is it important to have had marriage counselling, etc, and to make sure that the family, the extended family is in support of your union? Are there positive or negative consequences of broken homes? What are your thoughts?
185. Is it important to choose the right spouse?
One that is compatible with you spiritually, sexually, financially, culturally etc.? Is it important in choosing a spouse or can there be implications later in the course of the marriage? If you get it right, hopefully you will live a positive and fulfilled life.
But if you get it wrong, you will go through a lot of pain, then you might go through a lot of traumas and this might actually impact the children negatively.
186. Now let's talk about wealth and marriage.
Does the fact that you are wealthy mean you will have a successful marriage? Does the fact that you got married to a rich man mean you will have a happy and successful marriage? Do people who are wealthy have divorces or separation? Those who are wealthy, are their marriages fulfilled? Are they the best of marriages? When you marry a wealthy person, is it because of that person's personality? Or is it just because of the money? Is the love entrenched or is it superficial? What are your thoughts?
187. Marital lessons:
Are there lessons to be learnt from marriage or marriage institution? Are you able to share your experience? Would you like to talk about it? Whether it's positive, negative or otherwise? There are different online and offline platforms where these could be shared. Research accordingly, and act as necessary.
188. Socialising and Networking:
Is it important to socialise and network before, during, and after marriage? Assuming you're looking for a spouse, do you go to networking events or social events where you are likely to meet the right person? Do you go to parties? Do you go to religious organisations? Do you go to professional activities, professional networks? Do you go to any other relevant networking platform where you are likely to get the type of person you want? Do you involve yourself in social activities? Maybe you can get a spouse from there? If you are the religious type, do you go to religious activities whereby you have people of the opposite sex with hopes to find one that looks good for you? What are your thoughts?
189. What do you consider to be the benefits of marriage?
Are you doing it to please your Creator? Are you doing it to procreate and recreate, to have children? Are you doing to share your love? Are you doing it to add value to society by bringing up good children? Are you doing it to increase the number of people in your religious fold? Are you doing it to ethically satisfy your sexual desires? Is that part of the benefits of marriage? Are you doing it to have a partner, a life partner, and to have company? What do you think are the benefits of marriage? Please share your thoughts.
190. Love potions
Sometimes, I hear of some people who rely on love potions where they either put something in your meal or drink or use it over you somewhere or the other, and then that way you become blinded to their love. Are you one of them—those who use it? Is it something you believe in? And if you believe in it, is this something that yields positive outcomes in the short term or in the long term? Do they really work? What are your thoughts?
Thank you very much for your time.
This is Jack Lookman signing off. Ire o (I wish you blessings)
Ire kabiti (I wish you loads of blessings).
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Thank you for your contributions: John Tosin Adekunle and Rita Nnamani
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