281. Could You Learn From Successful Or Failed Marriages?
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You could actually learn from both. From the successful marriages, you could learn from best practices. Whereas from failed marriages, you could learn pitfalls to avoid.
282. Will You Impose Careers On Your Children?
If you’re a professional, artisan or creative. Very good at what you do. Or if you’ve faced life challenges, because of the wrong career choice.
When your children are of ripe ages, will you impose or guide them in choice of careers? Will you compulsorily force them to learn from you? Will you refuse to pay for alternative education? Does it really matter if they are not so inclined? Or if the times have changed? Does it matter where there interest lies? Or if older professions are becoming ‘obsolete?’ Do you see the bigger picture? Or are you confined to the past? Will you listen, consult and persuade? Or your decision remains final?
What if you get it wrong, and the harm is already done? And if that broken egg, could no longer be made whole.
283. Step Family
What if this is the 2nd or 3rd marriage of one or both spouses? How will you navigate the territory? How will you manage step children? How will the step children relate? Could there be a lot of friction? Could there be rivalry? What if they are of opposite sexes? Is there anything to worry about? What about you making judgement? When there’s conflict. Will you be fair and just? What about responsibilities? Who will bare the costs? What about relations with the wider family? Could such marriages have bigger complications? Or could you weather the storm?
284. Spousal Disrespect
Do you intentionally or unintentionally disrespect your spouse? Do you do so in front of the children, family or friends? Do you do so in moments of anger? Could such, have consequences? Could it create cracks in the relationship? Did you study spousal personalities? And factored in such behaviour? Will you tolerate this? Or will you take revenge? Will you feel humiliated? And greatly belittled? Will you only tolerate it a few times? And then call it quits? Or will it be a good excuse, to rid bad nuisance?
285. Do You Curse Family Members?
When you’re upset and saddened, do you place curses on your spouse and children? Do you say negative and hurtful words, just to relieve your emotions? Do those words, make the situation better? Will those words words, be forgotten forever? Once they are spilled, could they be taken back? Could they create memories of who you are? Are there better ways, of handling situations? Ways that could be effective, leaving less hurt? If you’re unaware of them, could you research and find? With the hope of keeping serenity, for one and all.
286. Will You Put On Wedding Rings?
Putting on wedding rings could be cultural or religious. A lot of married people put on wedding rings, whereas some don’t. A possible benefit of putting on the ring, is to send a statement, that you’re married. This could keep away other suitors and possibly minimise extra-marital activities.
But does it keep them all away? Do marital rings add value to marriages? What if the husband is polygamous?
I guess wedding rings have their place; but may not necessarily suit everyone.
What are your thoughts?
287. Will You Impose Religion On Your Children?
If you’re a devout Muslim or Christian; Religious, God-fearing, etc. Will you impose your faith on your children? Will you make it compulsory? Will you rather guide them? And leave them to make their choices? If they change their faiths, or have no faiths? Will you disown them? Will you inculcate religious knowledge and practices, right from their childhood?
What if you haven’t a faith? Will you encourage them to be faithless? Are there lessons to be learnt? From those who wore similar shoes? Or will you continue the journey, not minding possible repercussions?
288. Are You Over-Reliant On Your Spouse?
Do you enslave your spouse? Getting them to do it all? Do you contribute minimally? Because you can’t be bothered or stressed? Do you claim rights, which are much misplaced? Do you put undue burden, on your spouse and children. Do you enjoy life, not minding their pain? And if they pass on, or if they move on; would you be fully incapacitated? Will you give some thought to this? As you sow may you reap? Or it doesn’t matter at all, you’ll enjoy the here and now?
289. Are You Competitors Or A Team?
As spouses, do you compete with each other? Do you endeavour to outperform yourselves? Do you focus on your primary roles? Do you compliment and support each other? Do you strengthen your resolve for the common good? Do you work as a team to accomplish a common aim? Do you train the children to be players, too? So that collectively you all succeed? Or will you continue to do as you do? After all, it probably works.
290. How Will You Manage Rainy Days?
Life is made up of different weathers. Sometimes rainy, windy or sunny. So is marriage. It could be bitter, sour or sweet.
How do you manage difficult days? When there’s little income, illness, death, conflict, etc?
Do you confront them head on? Do you leverage best practice? Do you consult necessary others in search of a solution? Do you run away from the problems, far far away? Do you seek Divine intervention, praying for solutions? Do you sit and do nothing, waiting for the problems to go?
How will you manage rainy days? Will you weather the storms?
Thank you very much for your time.
This is Jack Lookman signing off. Ire o (I wish you blessings)
Ire kabiti (I wish you loads of blessings).
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Thank you for your contributions: John Tosin Adekunle and Rita Nnamani
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