311. Renewing Marital Vows
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Some married people chose to renew their marital vows after some major milestones. Probably after 20, 30 or 40 years of the union.
It’s an act of commitment and probably renewed love. This is usually done by some Christians, whose marital contract is ‘till death do us part.’
312. If Your Children Refuse To Marry
If your children refuse to marry, is this a good or bad thing? Is it a reflection on the parents, family, society or otherwise? Do they see marital unions in negative lights? Do they see pain and hurt? Do they see deceit and mischief? Do they not see light at the end of the tunnel? Do they not see any value in marriage? Are they impacted by their network? Could they change their companions? Could their perspective change? If they meet the right suitor? Could it change, if circumstance causes it to do so? Will they rather have children, outside marital unions? Or probably no children, and decide to go it alone? Or may be have a partner, without formal commitments? Could their choice or decision, be for better or worse? Do they require counselling, to see the picture in full? Or should they be left to their devices, either for better or worse?
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313. If They Don’t Find Love Indoors
If your spouse or children don’t find love at home, could they search for it outdoors? Could they take succour in other homes? Could they find it with friends or strangers? Could they do what they shouldn’t? Could it lead to your home breaking?
Could the situation be addressed? Intentionally? Before it gets out of hand? Will it demand sacrifice? And flexibility?
Will you think about the long term? And the potential benefits?
Will you think about breaking the union? And creating another union? Will this add value to you? Or to anyone? By finding an easy solution; could it be long lasting? Or will you be deferring the root causes, until a later time?
If they don’t find love, or feel insecure; will you collectively find answers, to benefit one and all?
314. Fair Weather Friends
Do you have fair weather associates? These could be family, friends or acquaintances. They are very much around, when the going is good. They smile and cheer with you, as long as you have something to give. But when the tides change, when things become tough; they are nowhere to be found. They find excuses, for being absent. They tell lies over and again, to cover their disloyalty. They hop onto the next prey, and repeat the same process. That’s there personality, which needs to be managed.
Will you avoid them? Could you benefit from them? Will you keep them at arms length?
Those fair weather friends, show their faces now and again. Will you manage them? Or rather avoid them?
315. Are Children Assets Or Liabilities?
Why do you wish to have children? Are they assets or liabilities? Do they have any value? Do you just have them for fun? Do you have them, because other people, do? Could they help with domestic chores? Could they be beneficial in old age? Could they extend your legacy? Could they bring you joy? Could they be supportive? Could they make you proud? Will you have them for selfish reasons? Will you invest in making them desirable adults? Or will you avoid having children? Because it’s a lot of hard work.
316. Do You Pray For Family And Friends?
If you’re a religious person, do you pray for family and friends? Do you pray for your spouse? As well as your children? Do you pray for your parents? So also your siblings? Do you pray for in-laws? As well as associates? Are your prayers intentional? Does it matter if they do you no good? If they are happy, could this improve your well being? If you add value to them, could it rebound to you? If you pray quietly, and anonymously, could this add greater weight? As they prosper and enjoy great value, could it benefit you? Or do you prefer to curse and howl, without anything to gain?
317. Do You Show Gratitude?
Do you show gratitude, to the Creator and Sustainer? Do you show gratitude, to fellow humans? Do you reflect on the little things, as well as those substantial ones? Do you reflect on what you have, and what you haven’t? Do you reflect on the lives of others, who have little or nothing? Do you reflect on those, who face life’s tribulations? Do you reflect on those with bodily defects, either young or old? Do you reflect on victims of conflict, whose everything became nothing? Do you create time and space, to reflect on life and death? Or are you too busy, in life’s hustle and bustle?
318. Home Made Meals?
Do you prepare home made meals? Do you encourage family members to learn? Are they of any value? Both traditional and otherwise? Could these save you money? And keep you healthy? Could you enjoy serenity, as you prepare the meals? Could you get better in its doing, with lots of practice? Could it be a source of hustle, in times of financial distress? Could it be a side hustle, for you to earn a few bucks? Could this be a life skill, for you and the children? Or do you prefer to spend outside, wasting chunks of your future?
319. Do You Slander Or Backbite Your Spouse?
In your good and bad days. In times of conflict and times of separation. Do you backbite and slander your spouse?
Do you say true and false things, just to create hurt? Do you divulge secrets, known to you alone? Do you say hurtful things, just to get at him? Do you magnify these, by leveraging the internet?
Does this add value to you, is it worth the effort? Is it only something, that you’ll ‘enjoy’ for a while?
What if fate brings you back, could you erase the pain? Or could you erase the inscriptions, on the minds of of the busy bodies?
Is it like a cracked plate, never to return to form? Or you don’t care and never will, for you live only for today.
320. If Your Spouse Or Child Is Wicked
Do family members show signs of wickedness? Taking extreme views, and causing unnecessary hurt? Do they exhibit this physically or emotionally? Are there utterances very extreme? Do they derive joy in doing so? Is this something they do regularly? Do they do this in and out of the home? Do they do it everywhere? Is there an underlying cause for this? Could this behaviour be corrected? Will you seek professional help? Will you seek spiritual guidance? Will you play your bit? Will you seek wise counsel? Will you be intentional in finding a solution? Will you be proactive? Will you address the problem sooner than later? Or will you endure and watch life unfold?
Thank you very much for your time.
This is Jack Lookman signing off. Ire o (I wish you blessings)
Ire kabiti (I wish you loads of blessings).
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Thank you for your contributions: John Tosin Adekunle and Rita Nnamani
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